Monday, July 18, 2011

My escape...

I know, I know.  I skipped another Sunday.  I’ve decided that Sundays are not conducive to blogging, so I’m changing my original plan of 30 consecutive days.  I will blog everyday for a month, with the exception of Sundays.  After all, it’s the Lord’s day and I should rest.  J
But I will tell you about my Sunday.  Yesterday was a hard one for me.  I nearly lost someone I so dearly love to a stupid argument.  I needed something they couldn’t give me and I almost let that be the end of it.  If you really know me, you know I am a giver.  I give so much of myself, all the time.  And the truth is I wouldn’t have it any other way.  The only time in life I have truly felt fulfillment is when I am helping others, taking care of them, doing things for them, being supportive of them, encouraging them, whatever they need.  I need to know that people are better off because of how I have treated them.  It truly is a fulfilling way to live my life and I love it.  But… even givers need to take once in a while… to be refilled.  And yesterday was that day for me.  It was an end to one of those weeks where I felt like everyone was breaking off and taking pieces of me instead of allowing me to give them.  I needed someone to fill me back up, to pay attention to me, to make my feelings a priority instead of theirs.  And I got neglected, ignored, criticized and even made fun of for my feelings.  And it hurt.  Really bad.  I reached a breaking point where I just wanted to lock myself away from the world, but at the same time I needed to crawl into the arms of someone who loves me and just let them hold me.  I needed someone to make me the priority… to do something for me just because they cared about how it would make me feel.  It could have been anything.  But it had to be something.    
After battling and probably even forcing a friend to understand that what I needed was just to matter enough that my feelings came first for once, we headed to Eureka Springs for a little impromptu escape.  It was exactly what I needed.  The drive alone was beautiful enough to calm my nerves.  Arkansas is such a beautiful place.  God really did a good job there. 
I have only been to Eureka Springs once… a friend took me to see the Passion Play there when I was in college, but we didn’t stick around or do any sight-seeing or shopping or anything, so I didn’t really know what to expect.  Because this time it was a last-minute decision to get away, we got there a little late and many of the stores were already closed, but we did get to browse around a little bit. 
Our first purchase was at the Rocky Mountain Chocolate factory… just what the doctor ordered… peanut butter fudge, macadamia nut toffee and a strawberry smoothie.  J  We poked around in various shops looking at shoes, hats, knives, jewelry, home decorations, coffee mugs, etc.  I touched every wind chime that was hanging outside just to hear what noise it made.  That alone made me feel so much better.  I tried on a hot pink cowboy hat, which also helped.  It’s the little things.  J  Even though a lot of the places were closed, I enjoyed just walking around looking at everything.  Some of the buildings in Eureka Springs were built as far back as 1829.  Being a lover of architecture, specifically old buildings, it was really cool to see them and how the town was literally built into the side of the mountain.  My favorite building was the Courthouse and City offices.  I didn’t think to take a picture of it, so I found one of flickr…

Photo taken by Bobby Acree
The County courthouse is the main part of the building and then the City offices are underground.  This building is so cool to me.  And not just because it’s where I’d probably work if I lived in Eureka Springs.  It was built in 1909 and I can only imagine the 100+ years worth of history and stories this building could tell.  The solid infrastructure and almost churchlike design of the building make it easy to notice.  I love the large stones that they used back then.  I’m fascinated with old, downtown buildings and someday, I do plan to own one.  Not sure yet what I’ll do with it… I just want one.  And when I do, I hope it looks something like this one. 
After we were done browsing, we ate a light dinner on the balcony of an old hotel.  It was calm and peaceful and overlooked all those neat old buildings.  The misters were blowing a cool breeze as we ate and for a second, I didn’t want to leave.  I didn’t want to go back to reality where there are other people and pressures and deadlines and meetings and responsibilities.  I just wanted to stay and enjoy the quiet and calmness of this little mountain town.  I wanted this to be my reality.  But because I am a responsible person who has meetings and deadlines today, we finally left.
On our way home we made a slight detour so that we could check out Beaver Lake and the White River… both astonishingly beautiful.  Being a little bit of a lake rat with a love for the great outdoors, I’m so glad we drove by.  Again… no pictures… we never actually stopped.  It was late and we had a long drive ahead of us so we just made the scenic drive across the river, along the lake, over the dam and then back around the other side of the lake.  It too was beautiful and calm and peaceful and another sign of God’s handiwork in Arkansas. 
So I now have a newfound love for the quiet little town of Eureka Springs.  I will go back… soon.  I will take a real vacation, which I have never actually done for me.  All my trips, travels and vacations in the past have been to see family or help out friends or attend weddings or funerals in other states.  Since I’ve had a big-girl job, I’ve never just gone somewhere because I wanted to… so I will.  I’m adding this to the bucket list.  I will spend a few days in Eureka Springs this fall.  I will check out all the stores, eat whatever I want, rent a canoe to go down the river, fish in the lake, stay in a quaint little cabin… no schedule, just whatever I feel like… only this time, I’ll take lots of pictures to remind me how it felt to have a moment of enjoyable serenity.
Today it’s back to City Hall, tomorrow it’s back to remodeling… the week is full of late after-work meetings, places to be, people to please, topped off with a family reunion and a wedding this weekend… but soon… it’s back to Cassie.  J
I encourage all of you who may feel a little bogged down to make plans to do something for yourself.  Or better yet, ask someone who loves you to make plans to do something for you.  And make sure your plans don’t actually include any plans other than just enjoying whatever you feel like at the moment.  Just go somewhere nice and see what you find.
Happy Monday!

1 comment:

  1. Saw this on Living Social Escapes, and thought I'd pass it along :) Be sure to read the fine print ;)